Last week we published the Definitive Guide to Top 10 Best Gaunt’s Ghosts Characters, and this week we’re back to talk about the opposite. That’s right, it’s time to give some page space the four worst characters, and the four most overrated. How am I defining “worst?” Duh, it’s the characters that we either hate, or just had bad arcs. The characters over whose deaths you rejoiced, or just did not care. As for overrated, well, it’s just time for some more hot takes, fresh off the presses.
Starting the list off with a bang, aren’t we? Look, sometimes I really liked Gol Kolea. When Gol was allowed to just be a strong fighter and regular dude, he was great. But the whole will he reunite with his kids, won’t he reunite with his kids bullshit every book got super old. I don’t think Abnett ever really decided what he wanted to do with Kolea. I was kind of excited when Saint Sabbat healed his traumatic brain injury, but the results made me wish we could go back.
Jesse, we know it was you, you broke our hearts. Jesse starts out as such a neat character. She’s one of a handful of women who rises up out of a factory to fight the archenemy. She quickly goes from novelty to serious soldier. Hers and Rawne’s romance is undeniably sweet, with their edginess balancing each other out. Which is why her transition from edgy badass to jealous snake is so disappointing. She becomes a conniving asshole, attached to Meryn. Bye, Felicia.
This fething guy, amirite? He starts out as the doe-eyed eager officer and turns into such a tool. He’s jealous, he’s manipulative, and he’s just an asshole. In many ways he was the anti-Rawne, starting off good and slowly sliding into criminality. But he committed two unforgivable crimes: One, he used Dorden’s dead family in a fraud scheme which is just disgusting. Two, the number of casual murders aside, this bastard right here kills Ezrah ap Niht. Who the hell do you think you are, guy?
Is there anyone worse in this whole regiment? The answer is “no.” This guy is a monster in a series about fighting monsters. It’s not just that he tries to kill Saint Sabbat herself. Oh, no, I might forgive him that. I might even forgive him for killing Bragg. But this bucket of pus kills Corbec. That’s a move so cold, even Khârn the Betrayer is like “Damn, son, slow down.” I hope this man spends eternity having his soul torn asunder by Tzeentch, who found his scheming laughable at best. Huge props to Abnett, though, for knowing when to exit this guy stage right.
I feel bad punching down at Captain Daur, but he is easily the most milquetoast character in the regiment. Several books focus on him, or attempt to delve into his life, and it never inspired any type of attachment for me. He’s the Tom Brady of the Imperial Guard: ridiculously good-looking, talented, seems like an OK dude, and I can’t stand him. Stop trying to make Daur happen.
Remember that one time that I praised Mkoll for not being a Mary Sue? Mkvenner is unquestionably a Mary Sue character. You don’t know his first name because he doesn’t have one. The sole character development for this dude is he is a Mystical Ninja. He has like five lines of dialogue, and everyone acts as though he’s the second coming. I’m not having it.
I’ll give you a second to clutch your pearls and gasp. Look, Caffran is a great guy. He might even be arguably the best dude. His love for Criid and their adopted children is legendary and a continual lump of sugar to go with the horrors of the Sabbat Crusade. But look, it’s time we acknowledge that his sole defining characteristic is that he’s Good Dude. He doesn’t have much more by way of development, and his death was solely an attempt to kick both fans and Tona Criid in the heart.
Please hold your torches and pitchforks until the end of the ride, folks. Hear me out. Ibram Gaunt is not a great character, or rather he’s not a consistently good character. His motivations and attitudes change depending on the book you’re reading. He can be flippant to authority and cavalier to situations in one book, then by-the-letter disciplinarian the next. Some books he realizes the Imperium is an omelettes-and-eggs sort of place, and others he shows a shocking amount of naive about the universe. Most importantly though he did Ana Curth dirty and his whole love-child subplot was just not good. The entire series is named after him, too, so, that makes him the most overrated character.
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